If Memory Serves: Claiming my Hurtfest

[dicta_contrion]

Title: If Memory Serves
Username: dicta_contrion
Prompt Number & Prompt Author: #62 by capitu
Beta(s): disapparater
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Gregory Goyle, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Rating: NC-17
Warnings (Highlight to view): *Dubcon, for Harry being persuaded to give consent in an uncomfortable situation and for Draco consenting to or pursuing sex while experiencing memory loss and unable to understand the implications of his actions*
Word Count: 30.4k
Summary: Maybe Draco wants to forget. Maybe it’s wrong to make him remember.

(If Memory Serves)

This was my first foray into writing these two, and the experience was exciting and noteworthy in a million ways. Thinking about who Draco would be without his memories and how Harry would react was a thought-provoking, intense way to get started and whoa, was it a great way to explore the two of them, individually and together. There were some moments when I thought this fic might kill me, and I’m beyond grateful for all the support and commiseration that happened during the writing process and for all of the comments and kudos that have come since. I really can't tell y'all how much each one has meant.

Special thanks to capitu for such a rich, interesting, wonderful prompt and a rec that made my heart sing, to kedavranox for putting together an awesome fest and especially for being so incredibly patient with my first timer's nerves, and to disapparater, my beta, brit-picker, and fic writing doula, for incredibly thoughtful, thorough comments and a level of speed and support that went way above and beyond.

Comments

[dicta-contrion.livejournal.com]

I'm so speechless right now! I just read that maybe half a dozen times. You don't even know how convinced I was that the sex was flatter than glass or that the line between complex and confusing was blurry at best. Basically, if you need me, I'll be out back holding this close and giving it champagne and chocolate.

[dicta-contrion.livejournal.com]

Well, maybe a little drunk. But on really good champagne and top shelf liquor! And I shall aim to make it as happy as it made me, so it'll be a really ecstatic drunk comment. Anything else I might do to it is a matter for another fic.

♥ x 1,000,000

[capitu]

This fic made me fly. High. I loved it.

birdsofshore this is the fic I told you you should read!

[dicta-contrion.livejournal.com]

I'm still so thrilled that you loved it! Can't even tell you how much. ♥

[birdsofshore]

Oh, give over with your angst recs! :D

(sorry, dicta_contrion, I bet it's fab, but I am too scared to read it)

[capitu]

Awww. Can't blame me for trying. :D

And yes, it's absolutely fab. Really! And it's got a gorgeous ending, and there's misunderstanding, and memory loss and sex... ;)

[dicta-contrion.livejournal.com]

One day I will stop grinning at the things you say about this fic. Today is not that day. ♥

[dicta-contrion.livejournal.com]

Given the tears shed/angst angsted/feels felt whilst reading the other hurtfest fics, I understand entirely. Not to worry!

[blithelybonny.livejournal.com]

Blargh, I totally loved this fic! It was so odd seeing Draco/Not!Draco but in the absolute best way. Mad kudos, lady!

[dicta-contrion.livejournal.com]

Thank you!! Writing Not!Draco was also odd - "so, for starters, who would this main character be if he had no personal history? this should be nice and simple." - but really rewarding, and I'm so glad (and relieved. very relieved and pleased and all of those things.) that it worked for you!

[firethesound]

I adored your fic, and I'm rather surprised to hear that it was your first H/D. You have such a good grasp of the the pair of them and how they interact with each other that I'd have sworn you'd been writing them for years. ::squishes you::

It's definitely one that's gone on my reread list. :D

[dicta-contrion.livejournal.com]

♥♥!!!!

It was my first time writing them, but after a lot of reading them. Millions of words and hundreds of fics and some number of hours I probably don't want to count. So the idea of them, or how I thought they'd behave, wasn't new. And it was part of why I was so in love with capitu's prompt - it made me sit down and parse out what was temperament vs. history vs. social context and was the best exercise in figuring them out.

But also/more importantly, thank you!!! For all of that! I'm full of happy sighs. ::squishes right back::

[anemonen.livejournal.com]

Oh, I absolutely adored this fic! I'm so impressed that it's your first H/D because the characterizations are just perfect. And if the parselprostate is your second one I really can't wait for the continuation:D I'm looking forward to rereading this when I find the time. It was a real gem<3

[dicta-contrion.livejournal.com]

Thank you!!! It was my first time writing them, but after tons and tons of plotting and reading and thinking, and I owe so much to all the writers who have made them come alive in a million different ways before me. It's one of those (many) things I adore about fandom. And I'm so, so glad you enjoyed it!! I can't tell you how wonderful it is to hear. ♥♥