D/H Search History Haikus (totally writing la la la)

[dicta_contrion]

I AM TOTALLY WRITING. SO MUCH WORDS. Which means research! Which means googling weird, weird things, then looking at my search history and being very grateful that no one else can see it, because it'd basically look like I'm a very detail-oriented, world-traveling pervert. Which is so clearly not true. Obviously.

Anyway, after all very this productive writing that is not at all sidetracked by shiny objects of the research variety, my search history is starting to get a little amusing. Poetic, even. So, what the hey. Draco/Harry search history haikus.

Verbs have been conjugated to protect the syllable counts. Punctuation, contractions, and capitalisations may have been added in post-production. Otherwise, everything is drawn directly from my "Show All History" window.

*clears throat*

Seychelles. Nice. Toulouse.
British bathrooms. King's Cross loos.
Where do Malfoys fuck?

size of male penis
size of male penis flacid
define forbearance

Cartier cock rings
Oban. Grey Goose. Dutch tulips.
When's Draco's birthday?

Formal drawing room
sitting on haunches, hands bound
gay tops, paddle sounds

Mrs. Zabini,
people really come screaming
Pansy's mother's name?

Harry and Draco,
doing coke off someone's thigh.
black eyeliner. fuck.

Wiltshire in August
Quidditch leathers. Open flies.
Smell of come. Grass stains.

Comments

[traintracks.livejournal.com]

Oh my dear God, this is PRICELESS. Please do this often!!! Draco's birthday looks like a really awesome occasion, just sayin'. And I'm particularly fond of that second-to-last one. ;-)

[anemonen.livejournal.com]

Haha, omg I love this! And I must say, I can't wait to read your upcoming stories based on this :D you are brilliant! Did you get usable results from all of these searches?

[birdsofshore]

Ahahahah
This is class. I can fully imagine my search history is quite bizarre as well, especially when writing a fic!

[disapparater.livejournal.com]

All of these are brilliant. I think i like Mrs Zabini and the last one the best. Seriously, if these get to be prompts for fics, i'm claiming the last one right now.

[eidheann_writes]

♥♥♥♥♥♥!!!!!!

Hahahahaha

[blithelybonny.livejournal.com]

I snorted out loud reading that. So good! Also, do want to read whatever is going to come of those searches...

[capitu]

I shouldn't have read that while drinking coffee. It's my own fault, really. :D That was priceless.

[firethesound]

Have I told you lately just how much I adore you? Because I do. Very very much. These are the best haikus. I can't even pick a favorite because I love them all. <3

I recently cleared my own search history so unfortunately there's nothing good in there. But sort of like you, based on the things I search I think people would assume I'm some sort of detail-oriented and perverted... er, doctor? Serial killer? I spend a lot of time googling disease symptoms and pictures of injuries.

[zeitgeistic.livejournal.com]

omfg this is hilarious. *cackles*