It was the best of editors, it was the worst of editors

[dicta_contrion]

So, google docs has this widgety thing going, wherein you can "collaborate" with Nietzsche, Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Dickisnon, Dickens and Poe. Which is to say, if you go here and start typing, those six will make stylistically appropriate revisions to your work.

The potential of this is obvious: old-timey-style literary porn. I tried it with some of mine:

With a needy gasp, Malfoy urged that magnanimous being on. “Just like that, behest, talk to me, ride my cock.”

"Gonna ride thou till you can’t take it, gonna take you so deep."

Malfoy grabbed his hips, pushing Harry on to that dastardly vagabond with even more force.

"Like that, do you? Want to embrace me rough? Want to behest me till I can’t take it any more? Imagine you can do it, Malfoy? Think you’re a good enough hay roll? Better embracing show me. Yeah, that’s it. Show me how hard you wanna take me."

He broke off with a moan as Malfoy increased his speed, as well as Harry wrapped a hand around his own leaking cock, stroking in time with Malfoy’s embracing and sinking down to meet each thrust.”

"Confabulate to me Potter, behesting talk to me while I hay roll you.”

Harry nodded and leaned forward, his breath ghosting o’er Malfoy’s lips. “I wanna voraciously come with you inside me, want you to fill my tight embracing arse, want to make you come,” he hissed. “Intensely desire you to come from watching me ride you, come from the sound of my voice. Come for me, Draco.” A swaggering scoundrel, he rolled his hips for emphasis. “Come for me presently, wanna watch you come.” THE END

Did it live up to my every expectation? Yes. And more. Do you want to try it? All I can is that I haven't quite stopped giggling over this_bloody_cat's, wherein "Bloody hell!" became "Bloody a world of loveless suffering!" So, probably yes.

Comments

[this-bloody-cat.livejournal.com]

Ah, don't worry, I'll start writing this after my birthday because I'm having finals. On my birthday! Can you believe that? It should be outlawed xD So all my birthday gifts are going to be very belated, this year :( But at least they'll be, however belated, and THANK YOU!! ♥

[dicta-contrion.livejournal.com]

Oh! That's extra doable then. Send it on over whenever you get there! Yay!! I'm excited!

And yes. I've had them on my birthday before and it sucks. Should totally be outlawed. Seconded. (Though not a bad excuse to drink during finals...if one was interested in that sort of thing. More than finals already inspires and interest.)

[this-bloody-cat.livejournal.com]

So, the thing is finished. And I've sent you a panicky email I'm somewhat ashamed of -- okay, very! Very ashamed! Awfully ashamed! I don't know, emails are hard, I hope it's at least polite or something, maybe -- and... and when you're available you can let me know if I should send the thing -- because I could totally send it to someone else, really. Because... of the reasons. In the email. *facepalm*

*hides*

[dicta-contrion.livejournal.com]

Oh! Oh! *hugs and wine and calming aromatherapy or acupuncture or whateverthehell to you* Emails are hard! But not to be worrying! I was offline all day and just got it. No shame! It was lovely and polite and thoughtful and you should send it to me and, yes, emailing you back presently!

[this-bloody-cat.livejournal.com]

Haha! Whatever the hell sounds nice, you sound nice ♥ Sorry for the panicky ambush! It's a thing I do xD

[dicta-contrion.livejournal.com]

Oh, goodness. Do I sound nice? I try so hard to keep that quiet... It's a thing I often want to do, email = nervousness, so, props to you for actually admitting to your nerves!!