After reading all of that (okay, tbh I skimmed a lot), I have come to the conclusion that I am simply too lazy to grok Tumblr, and I will fully own that this is my fault and no one else's. I accept that Tumblr has a lot of functionality and community-building potential that I could choose to avail myself of, and very likely won't for time/inclination/aforementioned laziness reasons.

But man! Whew! Thank you for the taking the considerable time out of your life to make this tutorial! You really deserve a fandom award for this.